Kylie had achieved a lot in her 3.5 decades. She had two kids and a mortgage, a husband with a business that she participated in managing, and a raging side business that brought her joy.
It wasn’t always like that.
For a while there she found being a stay at home mum and part-time worker to be utter drudgery. I will never forget hearing her rail about chirpy social media posts – Why should I just “find compassion” and “Accept what is”!!!!
She was really angry and depressed. (As a coach and therapist angry is great! There is a lot of energy in it.) Yet she felt at odds with feeling like this. She “should” be happy that she had it all. Certainly to many onlookers,she had achieved a great deal.
“ I am not Superwoman. Far from it. I am broken. I have to stop hoping to get more self-discipline ‘someday’ – the yearning is so depleting. I want to have options other than crankiness as a way of getting through my daily life. It feels like an endurance test.”
She was managing. She just hated parts of her life so much that it spilled over into other parts of her life.
What I loved about Kylie is that she was ready to do something different.
She took up some short and focused therapy and coaching because venting with friends hadn’t worked. Many of them were stuck in the same drama. And she felt ashamed of herself. “There was this ‘public me’ That looked as though I had it all together. Then there was the real me.”
Through the therapy and the desire to be real, came sunshine through the angry clouds. It became possible for her to stop doing the superwoman act and be more of her real self. And to get closely acquainted and aligned to her values and act from them. She worked out she could ASK for help! And get it…..(a big thing for superwomen to overcome).
She realized the family business could continue well without her demanding input doing what she doesn’t like doing (being in front of a computer).
She took up training in personal fitness; she reduce her commitment at the family business to a minimal oversight role and started to get happy. She created more time for her to BE HERSELF. Through this she found some other ways to create space to reflect and to really be herself.
Now, even though she is very busy with her side business – it has become her main income; she is authentically happy because she’s doing what she loves. And she has spare love and patience for her kids. “Just as time busy but flowing” she said. “ I’m fulfilled so daily humdrum just isn’t the main feature.”
And she said – “The best thing I’ve learned is to really just be me. To stop putting on a front, and to listen to my gut. And act from it. I really hope to pay this forward to my kids.”
Be inspired. I am!
Ain’t no happy when you are fighting with yourself and you don’t know what you really love.