Dear friend, Sometimes our external and internal worlds are disconnected and we are not in harmony on the ‘inside’ and the ‘outside’. We may laugh and look fine to others, but inside we are anxious or experiencing feelings of shame. These questions will give you a quick way to reflect, feel more connected with yourself, and identify what you need to do to improve your life. Steal 20-minutes of quiet time, grab a piece of paper and a pen, and write down your answers to these nine questions.
1. How does the world see you? How do you think others would describe you? Write down the traits you think people would use when talking about you. Here are some words to get you started: kind, busy, practical, funny, smart, stressed, healthy, friendly, shy, lazy, creative. 2. How are you really, on the inside? Think about the way you feel in different parts of your life, like during those quiet moments alone or at work or with your family. Are you overwhelmed, guilty, tired, content, worried, excited… or something else? 3. What emotions do you find the hardest to manage? Do you struggle with feelings of guilt, sadness, anger, shame, jealousy, confusion or other emotions? 4. What areas of your life do you want to improve in the short and medium term? Think about how you would like to feel, and what you would like to do. Do you want to get fitter or find time for relaxation or make some new friends? 5. How could you improve in these areas? For example, if you want to get fitter, you might decide you could walk for 15 mins in the morning. 6. What changes are unfolding in your life that you need to cooperate with? And what does that mean for you? We are always moving through cycles of death and rebirth. We get ‘nudges’ that tell us what to cooperate with if we listen up. Consider both external changes (such as a job loss) and internal nudges (such as ‘I need to look after my own health more at this point in my life’). For example, you might be moving towards a career change and caring for elderly parents. This means you need to work less in the paid workforce. Consider how you can adapt to your obligations and still achieve what you need to. This may mean letting go of things that are not serving you. Internally, you might be getting a nudge to rest more or connect with deeper friendships. 7. Do you want your life to deepen spiritually? If yes, how could that be supported? Think about what spiritually means to you and how you can tap into yours. This could mean taking time out to meditate twice per week for 30 mins or practicing yoga daily or walking through nature each week. 8. What do I spend a lot of money on that’s not an essential expense, like rent or mortgage payments? And where am I price insensitive? There’s no judgment here, but this question tells you a lot about your quirks. Some people are willing to purchase a pair of pretty shoes on a whim, but refuse to ‘waste money’ on punnets of raspberries. Think about your financial choices and what they say about you and your values, and whether your spending is aligned with your values. 9. If you had a magic wand and your stresses were gone, what would your life look like – what would you be doing with your time? Go big with your thinking. Consider how your day would look, from what time you would get up to what you would eat to who you would spend time with. Would you be swimming in the ocean, writing your novel, learning the piano, hosting parties, or working to save the environment? Many people find this kind of self-reflection stimulating and inspiring. We all need a regular life ‘renovation’. If you need to go deeper with questions like these, please feel welcome to book in for a 10-minute free chat to see how you can enjoy more of your life.